Archive for the ‘bizarre’ Category

Déçu.

September 13, 2010

Triste, mais vrai

Crestfallen. For the first time in months, I am.

I suddenly got the briefest epiphany this morning how the current conundrum of my existence is the quintessence of four of my imperative staple figures of speech: (1) Irony (2) Oxymoron (3) Simile (4) Metaphor.

Even the book I’m currently reading is in puritanical (?) connivance with destiny. These things are trying to reveal something to me (queue for the belfry). But how can I react with the full extent of my metaphysical reflexes, when all I was trained to be is the audience of the protagonist, and not the protagonist himself?

I guess having to realize, that all throughout the day, you have been wearing your boxer briefs the other way round, helps keep someone’s sanity intact.

I seriously need my booze fix, right here, right now.

Fate, you owe me a sound explanation. I’m waiting.

Comment faire pour ressembler à un zombie

January 6, 2010

(How to look like a zombie)

For two straight weeks, I have been having a complete 360 from my normal sleeping pattern. I sleep really late. So late that it’s practically a couple minutes away from daybreak. I blame the holidays for disrupting my snooze routine. I think I’m gradually turning into a zombie.

I have been working from home since the holidays, so tomorrow would be the first day I’d be going to my workplace after the long break. I can’t wait to scare people with my sullen-due-to-insufficient-sleep look. Making this my new fashion statement.

Vis-à-vis, I saw this cool plush zombie toy from this site, that you can dismember, and turn its innards in ways it’s not supposed to. Even the size of the brain (the pink one shaped like a ball) is so proportionally correct. I’d like to own a hundred of these, and place them randomly in a rectangular glass case, for everyone to gawk at, whilst shuddering and muttering “how cute?”.

In the meantime, I’d be reading a book, see if I could summon the oh so elusive sleepiness by ignoring the fact that I should be sleeping by now (it”s already 2:08 AM). And if, IF after an hour I’m still wide awake, I would guzzle 3 mugs of coffee, take a shower, and get ready for work.

Un cinq-étoile toilette. Eh?

November 10, 2009

5-Star Restroom (1)

5-Star Restroom (3)

(A 5-star restroom. Eh?)

This is no prank. This is for real. As in this-is-exceedingly-outrageous-please-stab-me-til-i-bleed-out real. A fiiiiiive-staaaaaar restroom. I mean, if there’s a 5-star, there’s got to be a 4, 3, 2, 1-star..

And is there even a board (I assume a council of elders, who were once men’s public toilet janitors, aka the pits of restroom hell) that proficiently decides on which ones are to be given the most number of toilet stars? And do 5-star restrooms guarantee a 100% no creepy-side-lookers in men urinals when peeing?  I get a lot of those, and it’s really disturbing especially if the side-looker constantly bounces their stare from my thingy, to my face, and vice versa. Even more disturbing if their stare does not leave my crotch area, and I can see an obvious grin and/or a nod from the creepy side-looker, from my peripheral vision.

Le effet de la surprise

October 19, 2009

Surprised Girl Face

(The effect of surprise)

Yesterday, a friend texted me that she has something important to announce this week. And to add to already rising anticipation, she added “will definitely surprise everyone”. What a cliffhanger. She had a TV series marathon last Friday, so I excused her.
Now, I’m the type of person when told that something bad, or shocking happened, I always tip the my imagination scale beyond the comprehensible limit. I anticipate the worst, the unthinkable, to match the anticipation. Come story-unfolding time, I tend to under-react, which bums the raconteur.
So, to break the cycle, I replied to my friend’s SMS. I asked if she’s coming out as a lesbo. The reply’s a resounding no. I’m letting the cliffhanger nip me in the butt.

Yesterday, a friend texted me that she has something important to announce this week. And to add to already rising anticipation, she added “this will definitely surprise everyone“. What a cliffhanger. She had a 24 TV series two-season marathon last Friday, so I excused her.

Now, I’m the type of person when told that something really bad, or extremely shocking happened, I always tip my imagination scale beyond the comprehensible limit. I automatically anticipate the worst, the unthinkable, the inconceivable, to match the anticipation. Then come story-unfolding time, I tend to under-react, which bums the raconteur, expecting to extort a helluva surprise out of me, and all I can produce is a trying-not-to-sound-nonchalant aaah, OK.

That’s the effect of anticipated surprise to me, no surprise at all.

So, to break the cycle, I decided to reply to my friend’s SMS. I asked if she’s finally coming out as a lesbo. The reply’s a resounding no. I’m finally letting the cliffhanger nip me in the butt.

L’énigmatique geek

October 18, 2009

Geek Gang Signs

Am not really a self-confessed geek/nerd, or anything that would made me initiate a conversation, that I am, in fact, one of them geeks/nerds. However, a lot of close friends consider me as one of them few people who constantly manifest an aura of unquestionable  non-specific geekiness.

I don’t look, and definitely don’t act like one. And because of that, I often find myself doubted (by others) for what I know, and what I’m capable of deliberately knowing, which is fun to play sometimes, especially if I get others to swore by what they know against my knowledge. 10 million laughing-on-the-floor emoticons all cramped in my thought bubble. Major laugh fit, I tell you.

Sometimes, being underrated is not bad at all, in fact I consider it an advantage, especially if you are an eon life forms ahead of  your adversary.